Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Seven dogly sins

I have been a very good dog and this blog was given an award by one of our followers - Oskar, the indefatigable Schnauzer. As a condition of accepting this award, I promised to divulge seven sins about myself, so even though I'm not Catholic, I figure I should confess:

1. I am an Airedale Terrier and proud of it. Ma says being too proud can be a sin, but hey, at least I don't have low self esteem.

2. I LOVE THE LADIES. Yes, I'm a flirt, a ladies man, a playdog. Ma says I shouldn't lick ALL the ladies, some of them don't like dogs. Ma says not being faithful is a sin. Hrrrumph! She's just jealous and that's a sin.
3. I am a very good dog in the house but my one major sin is I love Ma's slippers. I LOVE them SOOOO much I chew on them at any chance I get. Ma says destroying other people's possessions is a sin even if it is Ma's.
4. I drink. No not just water -- I drink BEER. Ohhhh, how I love that froth when it covers my beard and that musty yeast smell is just heaven. A couple of licks and I get a little tipsy. I also get mouthy and kind of loud, but then I get sleepy. I guess I'm what you would call a cheap date. Ma says I'll get Pa in trouble since he's the one that sneaks me a few laps once in a while and the canine caretaker world will be mad at Pa. They can be real strict, you know! So, whose the sinner here?
5. I HATE gophers. Ma says all living things should be respected, but it's in my blood. I'm a terrier. I was bred to hunt big game and household vermin. And, although they live outside, they're vermin. I HATE them. I believe in the death penalty for gophers although I have yet to impose such a punishment. Ma says wanting to kill is a sin even if they are vermin.
6. Did I say I HATE gophers? Oh yes, I guess I did. They compel me to DIG. I LOVE to dig. I particularly love to dig at Sutro Hts Park where there is a whole gaggle of gophers living in the subterranean world below the lawn. Ma says I shouldn't dig - it's a sin to destroy public property but I see it as providing gainful employment for the park gardeners during this recession. Ma also says gaggle doesn't go with gophers but grammar and vocabulary are real challenges for me.

Well that's six sins. I have a short memory for stuff like this and I can't count, either, so this will have to do. Pa says enough text - people get bored with all that drivel and would rather see photos. After all, he says, a picture is worth a 1000 words. He's right. I'll entertain you with a few photos. Some of them may be reruns.

Well, guess what? Ma got it wrong. I didn't have to divulge any SINS, just seven THINGS about myself. Hrrrumph! I'm also supposed to find blogs I love and feature them here but that'll have to wait -- 'til my next misadventure, to be good you must confess your things, or divulge your sins or something, who knows, just be a dog and follow your nose.


Oskar said...

I'm a terrier too. We rock and little rodents need to be hunted!

Nubbin wiggles,

Suka said...

hey Maximus,

Congratulations on your award! That is a pawsome "6 Things" list. I have never had beer but since you seem to like it perhaps I should try to get in a taste!

Love that last photo of you! Very cool! One of the blogs is doing a tongue contest, so I have been seeing lots of doggy tongue photos.